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It is a delight to introduce you to one of NABBW’s newest members, Tammy Hader. Before you read what she shares about herself below, let me tell you a bit about what I’ve come to know about her.
Tammy, like so many of us Baby Boomers, has recently reinvented herself. After working 30 years as an accountant, where she developed what she calls an “adequately successful career,” she decided to retire and explore a totally different path.
Being a logical thinker, she realized that before she could properly select a new career path, she had to work through some very critical questions, including:
- Where do I want to venture from here?
- What would be stimulating and fulfilling for the second half of my existence?
- How can I make a difference in the world, leave a mark after I am gone?
- Will this make me happy?
Tammy says once she started pondering these questions, she realized that finding her answers was actually not all that simple. I can totally back her up on this, as I went through the same process back in the 90s when the advertising agency where I had been working decided they no longer had a place for me. Having never been terminated previously, I took a full month to lick my wounds, and then focused on determining what was to be my next move.
As Tammy puts it, it is at times like this when you have to sit yourself down and ask yourself some tough, soul-searching questions. Life is full of choices, each leading to a series of options, which in turn, generate more options.
Tammy found, as many who have also been through this process have had to realize, that the thought of figuring out what you want to do next can be overwhelming until you realize that you actually have to slow down and solve your dilemma tactically. She says she first narrowed down the playing field by setting parameters for her search:
“I took the time to be honest about what I wanted, and what I did not want, out of a new career path. I took a year off, caught up on neglected projects around the house, and determined which boxes a new job needed to tick. I figured out that I enjoy working from home, prefer to be my own boss, love having a flexible schedule, and wanted to exercise my brain to maintain cognitive health.”
Next she applied her observations to a list of potential jobs and produced a manageable number of options. Since she’s a planner by nature, Tammy knew that selecting a path that stayed within the lines she’d drawn would be helpful to the achievement of her goals.
And, after several months of thoughtful review, Tammy made an initial selection and gave herself permission to plan thoroughly — and then go with the flow. She recognized that to be successful, you have to be willing to go with the flow, “pivot,” and/or evolve your plans.
Tammy started by successfully finding a number of online publications to write for, which immediately began generating some income, and then wrote a book, which she has just released. Titled “Walking Old Roads: A Memoir of Kindness Rediscovered,“ it is now published in both paperback and Kindle formats. We’ve included the book cover below, as well as an Amazon link. And now that you know “the rest of the story,” we happily turn this article over to Tammy and her answers to our questions…
Using one paragraph, tell us a bit about yourself.
I am a person of quiet deliberateness, a bashful storyteller. I am an active listener who enjoys making other people’s lives better. Behind the scenes, I struggle with my desire to be content with my own existence. I am tea not coffee, beer not wine. I was born a cat person, a foodie, and a lover of purpose and order. I am a complicated woman who finds her Zen both in being immersed in the energy of rock and roll music and in the silence of a perfectly organized closet.
Tell us about your family; married, divorced, children, grands, boomerangs or parents living with you, etc.
I have been married to my husband Brad since 1994. We have no children, but we do have 2 rescue cats that we serve on a daily basis. My mother is currently in independent living nearby so I help care for her as much as I can.
What is your favorite childhood memory that is reminiscent of growing up in the 50s, 60s, or 70s?
My favorite aspect of childhood would have to be the wide variety of activities we were allowed to create on our own and with friends. Whether it was riding bikes all over town without worry, spending hours playing with my Barbie Dolls, pretending I was a schoolteacher, baking with my Easy Bake Oven, or having neighborhood kids over for a kickball game, the adults didn’t arrange our playtime. I was an active participant in face-to-face interactions with peers and we had the best time together.
What qualities do you have that speak of our generation of women?
I am a pragmatic thinker with a high level of problem-solving capability. Like many women my age, my expectation is not to be taken care of by others, but rather to be able to take care of myself. I try to be respectful and empathetic to people around me. I am disappointed when people fail to reciprocate such behavior even though I know I can only control how I behave.
What inspires you?
My grandmother’s contentment derived from living with intention inspires me in the day-to-day aspects of living life. She was one of the most practical, loving, strong, and consistent role models from my youth. She’s a topic of many stories in my new book, Walking Old Roads. As I mention in the book, she had the kind of faith that extends beyond the walls of a church, and I hope to live up to her example of a life well lived.
These days, what brings you the most pleasure in life?
Spending time with people who make me smile brings me the most pleasure in life. The older I get, the less acceptable it is for me to waste time and energy. I want to fill the remainder of my life with the most pleasant memories I can create.
Do you have any interesting hobbies?
I am a member of a beer club. It’s a very relaxed organization that meets once a month at a local brewpub. We are a very diverse group of all ages coming together to enjoy the love of craft beer and the adventure of trying new things. Sometimes the beer samples are terrible, but the camaraderie always fills my heart with joy no matter what.
Do you have a favorite book or movie? If so, tell us why it’s your favorite.
This is the toughest question of all. I enjoy comedic classics like Office Space, action-adventure movies like Indiana Jones, and science fiction flicks like any of the Star Trek movies. My favorite classic movie of all time, however, is Casablanca. The idea of personal sacrifice for the greater good inspires me to look at life from different perspectives. Books are much the same. I enjoy reading Robert Fulghum’s wisdom, Stephen King’s horror, and Tom Clancy’s world adventures. One of my most favorite books is Lord of the Flies by William Golding. The chilling parallel between the adult world we know, and the evolution of the children’s island community is a fascinating examination of the fragility of humanity.
Do you travel and if so, who are your favorite travel partners and where do you like to go?
My husband is my favorite travel partner. We share so many interests such as hiking, exploring big cities like NYC and Chicago, trying new foods, and enjoying sporting events, concerts, and museums. We love experiencing things that are not prevalent in the little part of the world we call home. We are super excited about traveling to Europe for the first time later this year.
What do you stress about?
My mom’s health concerns are the biggest source of stress for me at the moment. It’s tough to watch a loved one struggling with growing older. The parent/child role reversal phase is an emotional time for anyone going through that part of life. Mom helped me a great deal in doing the research for my book. In many ways, I believe working together on the book project navigated us through the swapping of roles waters more enjoyably than either of us expected.
Is it important for you to retain your youthful looks, and if so to what degree are you willing to go?
No, retaining my youthful looks is not a priority for me. Aging is natural, and I plan to own my place in time. I prefer to focus more on staying as healthy as I can for as long as I can. I work at finding healthy recipes that also taste delicious in order to make eating right more fun to do. I know exercising must become a higher priority for me, but that’s a lot less fun than food.
Have you re-invented yourself, and if so, how?
I retired from a 30-year accounting career in 2017. After taking a year off to work on neglected projects around the house and to figure out what I wanted to do from there, I landed on becoming a writer. I started putting essays out on Medium.com and BizCatalyst360 while I read and studied writing techniques of other writers. In 2021, I contracted with WebMD.com to write monthly blog articles about living with migraine illness. I am a contributing author in the Daily Gift Book Series, and I have my own book, Walking Old Roads, coming out in June 2023.
Do you plan to retire?
As I just mentioned, I have gone through one retirement already. As for retirement from writing, I have no idea when that will happen. As long as I remain interested in writing and readers enjoy my words, I will keep going for as long as possible.
Are you doing anything to ‘go green?’
Technically, I suppose having no children has the biggest impact on my environmental footprint on the earth. I also actively recycle, and I try my best to not waste resources. Meal planning keeps grocery purchases limited to only what I need. I use reusable, washable grocery bags and sandwich bags, that sort of thing. I prefer a clean, uncluttered living environment so there is not a lot of excess sitting around our house.
Do you still have unfulfilled dreams, and are you doing anything to accomplish them?
I’m happy with the life I have created for myself through good choices and bad. My dreams change with my season, which means I tend to let go of unfulfilled dreams when the time is right to move on with new, more realistic endeavors. At the moment, my biggest dreams are to become a successful book author and to see more of the world. I’m actively working on fulfilling both of those dreams as we speak.
How do you make a difference in the lives of others, your community, your world?
I’m a good listener with a reasonably empathetic ear. I’m trying to be a kinder, better example in the present for generations to come. A stronger sense of community is important to maintaining civility in our world and I’m working on looking up and connecting with family, friends, and neighbors who are right in front of me.
If you were to have a personal mission statement, what would it be? Feel free to be as serious or fun as you choose.
Strive to remember and learn from the past, but don’t set up residence there. Make the effort to look up and enjoy the present before it fades into the future. Cherish the pockets of joy found in the cloak of everyday life.
