NABBW
Columnist - Finding Purpose at Midlife
| Name: |
Prill
Boyle |
| Title: |
Author |
| Expertise: |
Finding
Purpose at Midlife |
| Web
Site: |
www.prillboyle.com |
| Email: |
prill@prillboyle.com |
| Bio: |
 Prill
Boyle is a classic late bloomer. Years ago, she dropped out
of college, married young, and had two children. She ended
up at Harvard--as a secretary, not a student. Twelve years
later, divorced, remarried and tired of doing clerical work,
she enrolled at Georgetown University and earned a B.A. and
M.A. in English. After graduating at age 38, she began teaching
high school and community college. Then in Januaury of 2000,
she read an article about a 65-year old Kentucky woman who
had waited 39 years to join the Peace Corps. Inspired by this
woman's persistence and courage, Prill decided to take her
own leap of faith. At age 47, she left her teaching job and
began writing Defying Gravity: A Celebration of Late-Blooming
Women (Emmis Books), 2004. Now 51, she has been a guest
on numerous radio and television programs and has addressed
groups all over the country, including at the United Nations,
about the rewards of late blooming.
|
View
Past Articles
No
Time Like The Present
By Prill Boyle
When we pursue
a dream, our spirits wake up. But as our hearts begin to soar and
we head off to whatever destination we've chosen, it’s vital
to remember that what’s most important in our lives is not
in the future. It’s here and now.
Jim McKennan knows this all too well. On June 1st he was diagnosed
with a malignant brain tumor—a complete surprise for an active
and seemingly healthy man who is the father of four school-age children.
The odds are not in his favor. But as dire as his situation is,
much good has already come from it. His family and friends have
rallied around him. “Team Jim,” they’ve dubbed
themselves. And through a wonderful organization called “Caring
Bridge” (www.caringbridge.org), a website has been created
to brief everyone on his progress. On it, Jim and his wife Laurie
are keeping a running journal documenting his course of treatment
and its side effects, both physical and emotional.
Some of the entries are heartbreaking, such as when Jim shares his
experience of Googling the medical term for his tumor. “It
made for interesting reading,” he says, “until I remembered
it was about me. I cried all night. I cried over the things I was
afraid I was going to miss…cried over the help I wasn’t
going to be able to offer…cried for the companionship I wasn’t
going to be able to give. It was uncontrollable.”
Other entries are poignantly funny. My favorite describes Jim’s
experience of losing his lush, silver locks—a result of his
chemotherapy. Riding in his friend’s car with the windows
open, his hair flying everywhere, he says, “From the looks
of it, I'm going to have one patch left in front, so I'm going to
have to cut it all off.....Right now I look a bit like a dandelion
that has gone to seed.”
Several times a day well-wishers sign the site’s guest book,
adding their words of encouragement and wisdom. (As of this morning,
there were 3060 visits.) And once a week or so, Laurie posts new
photographs of Jim with family and friends.
From this mosaic of journal entries, well-wishers’ expressions,
and pictures emerges a portrait of one human life, a speck of radiant
stardust surrounded by a constellation of support and caring. Addressing
his ever-growing team of champions, Jim writes: “I can't begin
to tell you how powerful your messages and your prayers feel to
me. They go beyond saying that you care, they do something else
truly remarkable. They keep me in the present, in today, and that
simple fact makes me feel exponentially stronger.”
Like Jim, we are all stronger than we suspect, more fragile than
we imagine. And no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Laurie says,
“What seemed impossible five weeks ago, has begun to seem
routine. . . . I don't know if that's good or bad, but that's how
you live with this and how you continue to find the light and stay
out of the black hole of what ifs.” A week later, she adds:
“Everyone tells me to be strong. . , but I tell you. . , my
whole being--physical, mental, emotional, spiritual—has been
stretched, turned inside-out, exhausted from this shock and trauma.
. . . And so before I get up [each morning], I want to remember
and feel that most important thing. Life itself, and the breathing.
. . . Where there's life there's hope. And that brings some peace
and comfort.”
Right now, Jim and Laurie’s most fervent dream is for Jim’s
tumor to disappear. But in walking towards that dream, and in doing
battle with any and everything that’s coming in the way, they’ve
understood that this moment is the only one they have.
Prill Boyle
is the author of Defying Gravity: A Celebration of Late-Blooming
Women (Emmis Books, 2004). To learn more about the women mentioned
in this story, go to www.prillboyle.com.
PAST
ARTICLES
October
2005: Living Lives as Large as Our Spirits
November 2005: Imagine
You're Ninety
December 2005: Four
Powerful Words
January 2006: The
Perfect Gift
March 2006: The Better
Angels of Our Nature
April 2006: Being Alone
May 2006: Walking
Through Fear
June 2006: A
Change of Attitude
July 2006: A
Hard Act To Follow |
