NABBW Columnist - Healthy Relationships

Name: Judith Sherven, Ph.D.
Title: Author, Relationship Expert, Coach
Web Site: www.judithandjim.com
Email: shervsniec@aol.com
Bio:

Judith Sherven, PhD is an internationally acclaimed relationship expert. In partnership with her husband of nearly eighteen years, Jim Sniechowski, PhD, she has pioneered a visionary approach to successful dating and successful marriage.

She has co-authored Be Loved for Who You Really Are (St. Martin's Press 2003) which followed The New Intimacy (Health Communications, Inc.1997) and
Opening to Love 365 Days a Year (Health Communications, Inc. 2000). The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams (New World Library) will be out November 2005. It is the first book written specifically for the wedding couple.

A clinical psychologist, Judith worked in private practice in California
for twenty-two years. As a guest expert she has appeared on over 900
television and talk-radio shows including The View, CNN, The O'Reilly Factor, 48 Hours, Mars & Venus, Canada AM, and MSNBC. She has been interviewed for and published by hundreds of newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, O, Family Circle, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Playboy, Woman's Day, and Parents' Magazine and is a columnist for Today's Black Woman magazine and the National Association for Baby Boomer Women.

Prior to her current career, Judith was an actress and model in New York
and Los Angeles. Now as a relationship trainer and motivational speaker,
Judith has been working with live audiences for the last 17 years nationally and
internationally and understands what men and women are looking for to improve
their relationship satisfaction and success.

More than her extensive professional background, Judith brings profound
personal experience and knowledge to her work. She didn't marry until she was
44, to Jim, and so she knows the frustration and heartache of endless dating as
well as the blessings of a continually enriching marriage. She brings hope
for almost every woman!

Visit her websites www.judithandjim.com and www.themagicofdifferences.com

View Past Articles

Making the Most of "Mistakes"
By Judith Sherven, Ph.D. & James Sniechowski, Ph.D.

It's so easy to feel embarrassed and humiliated by the dumb stuff we all do. You've no doubt tried to hide the evidence that would expose you. And every one of us has lied to cover up our mishaps. But what about turning moments that might be thought of as mistakes into part of your intimate family history?
 
The other day Judith decided she would make lamb stew. But she didn't have any flour to thicken her
concoction. So she thought by mashing up some of the cooked potatoes and putting that into the mix it would do the job. Well, it didn't. So what she ended up with was a pretty runny mix.
 
She told Jim about her experiment and then served him what was a kind of stew and sort of like soup.
 
So Jim started calling it "stoup." Lamb stoup.
 
Now "stoup" is part of our intimate history and an endearment that will be with us for a long time.
 
And then another time Jim used an antique piano stool he'd bought for Judith as a step stool to fix a window blind. Oops! The mahogany seat cracked and it now wobbled when Judith sat on it to do her make-up.
 
At first she couldn't understand what had caused the damage, but then she put two and two together -- and voila! -- she'd solved the puzzle. Now, she had to reconcile her anger at the broken piano stool with her compassion for Jim‘s naivete about how delicate some things can be.
 
The answer -- to remember that it all came from love -- both the gift of the stool and the crack that happened while Jim was lovingly fixing the blind. So she decided to get it fixed so it won't wobble anymore but keep the crack -- because every time she sees the crack she sees how much Jim's behavior is motivated by love. And so the cracked piano stool is also part of our family's romantic lore.
 
How can you see your foibles as simply human, sometimes pretty funny, sometimes a lot of aggravation, but just human--and love your humanity while you fix the problem as well as you can?  And how can you get creative and make the most loving tribute out of your sweetheart's mistakes? After all, they're just "mistakes."
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Married psychology team and best-selling authors, Drs. Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski have redefined the future of weddings. From now on brides AND grooms will be co-partners every step along the way. Be sure to read an excerpt from their new book - "The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams." Just go to http://www.smartweddingcouples.com

PAST ARTICLES

October 2005: The Magic of Differences
November 2005: Gratitude Becomes You
December 2005: The Gift of Receiving
January 2006: Dream Big, Dream With Love
February 2006: Enjoy Real Intimacy, Not Just Hearts and Flowers
March 2006: The Blessing of Being Different
June 2006: Intimacy at First Sight?
July 2006: Suffering From Negative Head-Talk?

 

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