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NABBW Columnist - Baby Boomer Humor
| Name: | Georgia Richardson |
| Title: | Author, Speaker, Southern Humorist |
| Expertise: | Baby Boomer Humor |
| Web Site: |
http://www.queenjawjaw.com |
| Email: | gjawjaw1@bellsouth.net |
| Bio: |  Southern humorist Georgia Richardson, better known as Queen Jaw Jaw, has been published in GRAND, Chicken Soup for the Soul magazine, Woman's World, Guidepost online, and a host of other local and national magazines.
Her debut book, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Throne, consists of every day life experiences with just a twist of the imagination. Her second book, an anthology, Pink Jasper- Gems from the Journey, was written by Georgia and five other women across the United States, Canada, and England. Amazingly, these women have never met. Writer, speaker and gabologist, the Queen mixes her sharp sense of humor with everyday life observations and, as the Queen says, ?Every single story is true, honest injun? I'd rather walk on my lips than tell a lie?. To visit her queendom, just click on the link at the bottom of this page. There you can read all about her Lunch Hour Specials. Don't forget to ?paws? a while and see what her good friend and writer-dog Trixie, a.k.a., da Trixster, has been up to? |
All I Want For Christmas Is...
By Georgia Richardson
kay, that title may not be original, but my idea is. Hold on to your stocking stuffers’ people cause I have a whopper of an idea for Christmas this year. I’ve been giving this gift buying-running-to-the-mall-fighting-the-crowds-going-into-debt-and-cooking-for-the-multitudes thing, a lot of thought. What say this year we reverse the roles? Hmm? I mean, who says that kids should get all the neat toys and gifts under the tree, anyway? And what about the best candy always going in THEIR stockings? Exactly WHO made up these rules? I know I didn’t. You? More than likely, it was someone under the age of 18.
Here’s some well-known, documented facts. They get to make a list, put anything under the sun on that list, regardless of price, and like that isn’t lopsided enough, they make sure at least one item on the list is impossible to find and every single store in town is out. Even if you were smart enough to buy IT ahead of time and put IT on lay-away, IT comes up missing from the said store’s lay-away when you go to pick IT up. Can you say “heartburn?”
What if we reversed the roles, and let the kids handle ALL of Christmas this year? I mean they get an allowance, right? Well then, let them go out and do all the shopping. The way I see it, they practically live at the Malls anyway. So, what you do is make your list, check it twice, and while you’re at it, make sure you put something impossible to find on there. What the heck, it’s Christmas, make it TWO things. If you’re lucky, you won’t see your kids for weeks cause they’d be running from one Mall to the next, trying to track down those One-eyed, One-horned, Flying Purple People Eater Insoles you saw on late-night TV. You simply MUST have them to put inside of a new pair of those Baby Boomer Bopper shoes that ALL the other parents are wearing now. I mean, how can your kids expect you to be “jellin” if you don’t have them? And no knock-off’s either. You want the real thing. This means spending mega $’s making sure IT has that tiny little microscopic tag on IT that only a gnat could see. Nothing but the best for your feet, right?
There’s more … Since they’re in charge of Christmas, this means they’ll be baking cookies, making fudge, and cooking Christmas dinner. Watching them stuff the turkey could be particularly rewarding. Hint: hide the eggnog… and the neighbor’s cat. Next it’s on to the tree trimming, outside light stringing, and present wrapping. Yes sir, I’m thinking this idea of mine could catch on real quick and make a lot of Mom’s and Dad’s have a wonderful, relaxing holiday season.
Course, knowing my kids, I’d end up with some expensive video games which would be charged to me, a new set of golf clubs (also charged to me) and I don’t play, plus one uncooked and still frozen turkey, capable of singing “Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow” out it’s butt, sitting in the center of the table, surrounded by my best, everyday paper plates. Maybe I need to give this “Christmas in Reverse” idea a wee bit more thought. In the meantime folks, what say we stick with tradition? Especially since… well, ah… you see, there’s that thing about being good all year. Ahem… What can I tell you? It’s hard being me.
Trixie and I want to say, “Have a very Merry Christmas and, God Bless.”
© Copyright 2005-2008
Visit Georgia at
http://www.queenjawjaw.com
Southern humorist Georgia Richardson, better known as Queen Jaw Jaw, Author of two books, and most importantly, Big Momma to her grandchildren. Says the Queen, "If I can make you smile, then I can die a happy woman. I hope you do, too. Ah...smile that is; not die." QJJ